| | "Phaedra?" A young voice whispered into the dark corner of the broom closet.
There was no answer.
"Phaedra? Brother Nicholas is looking for you."
A shuffle. "I don't care," the dark corner answered.
A pause. "Phaedra, it's your birthday. They've got a cake and everything. I even think it's chocolate."
"Letty, go away. Leave me alone."
"Phaedra, if you don't come Brother Nicholas will get angry and prob'ly whip us and send us to bed without supper. Then we won't get any cake. What's your problem, anyway? You're the one who's going to have a party." A bit of envy came through in Letty's voice.
Sullen silence emanated from Phaedra's corner of the broom closet.
"Phaedra, c'mon . . ." Letty whined. She reached into the corner for Phaedra's arm. "Come out or I'll tell!"
Phaedra considered the situation, which looked rather dismal now that she'd been found, and allowed Letty to pull her out. Maybe Bother Nicholas wouldn't be in one of his moods tonight. Maybe, since it was her birthday...
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The party was grandly received by the orphans of the Thelbane Institute of Charity and Benevolence and there was even chocolate cake as Letty had anticipated. Brother Alfred gave Phaedra a small bundle wrapped with plain brown paper and tied with red yarn. Inside was a piece of hard candy and a yabba-fruit. Sister Clea gave her a present of coarse wool socks. Sister Enid gave her a book, wrapped up in pretty blue paper. It was a primer of the basic tenets of the Worship of the Great Serpent. Phaedra smiled politely and mumbled her thanks, thinking all the while of the unwanted attention she'd receive from the other orphans as they fought her for her gifts. Brother Nicholas smiled and said his present for Phaedra was in the front office and that she could come open it after the party. Phaedra looked down at her feet.
Eventually it turned bluesky and the hour became late. Brother Nicholas and the others left, leaving the children to get themselves ready for bed. In the girl's dormitory Phaedra quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face and put away her clothes said her prayers and jumped into bed. She pulled the thin blanket up around her eyes. In the hallway she could hear Sister Aloura coming to check that everyone was in their bed and nothing looked amiss before saying the Word that would put out the lights. Phaedra closed her eyes, feigning sleep, but the heavy footfalls of the obese Sister stopped beside her cot.
"Phaedra, you still have a present from Brother Nicholas in the front office," she whispered in her ear. "He's waiting for you to come open it." The Sister's breath smelled like the spicy sausages she was so fond of eating.
"I'm really tired, Sister," Phaedra yawned. "Can't it wait until morning?"
The rest of the dormitory was suddenly quiet, nine pairs of little eyes peeking over their blankets at Phaedra and Sister Aloura.
Sister Aloura straightened up and slapped Phaedra's leg. It stung, regardless of the blanket covering it. "Now, Phaedra,"she said harshly, all pretense at cajoling gone. Phaedra got out of bed and put on her little light blue robe that was already too short for her in the arms. She reached under the covers and grabbed the primer Sister Enid gave her, slipping it under the robe. She knew the other presents, also hiding in her bed, would be gone by the time she got back.
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The Ways of the TICB here were narrow and tall and dim and noises echoed hollowly in them. Phaedra's feet made no sound, though, as she trod by herself down the hallway to the front office. After dropping the book off in a special place that only she knew existed (under a loose stone in the wall of the third stall in the privy) she found the door to the front office ajar, warm yellow light spilling out onto the cold marble floor. Phaedra tiptoed over and stuck one cold, bare toe into the light. She stared at her toe for a moment, avoiding the inevitable.
Inside music played, Muzetti's Concerto for the stringed instrument, and with each soaring note Phaedra's heart sank a little lower. Brother Nicholas was in one of his moods again.
"Come in, Phaedra, my dear," he said warmly from the other side of the door. It was uncanny, the way he knew she was out there.
Phaedra obeyed, opening the door wider and slipping in.
"Close the door behind you, Phaedra."
"Yes, Brother Nicholas," she said in a small voice, shutting the door.
"Yes, Brother Nicholas WHAT?" he snapped.
She trembled. "Yes, Brother Nicholas, sir."
"That's better," he smiled, his voice normal and soft again. His blue eyes glinted darkly in the yellow light from the globe on the table beside him. "Phaedra, come here."
She walked over, shuffling her feet, looking down at the floor.
He put a casual arm around her waist, drawing her to him. He smiled. "Did you have a nice birthday?" he asked gently. "How old are you again, Phaedra?"
"Nine," she mumbled, still looking at the floor.
"Ah, yes, nine years old." Brother Nicholas reached out with his other hand and tipped up her chin. "Nine years old, and already so very beautiful." His hand strayed to her red hair, russet in the yellow light, and pulled back a strand from her face. Phaedra stood frozen, her face blank, looking over his left shoulder at the sculpture of the snowbird as it was frozen in flight. She'd been here before, and she'd long ago memorized every detail of that snowbird. She ran through those details now as Brother Nicholas's hand strayed down her cheek to rest on her small shoulder. Inside of her something trembled, part in fear, part in anger.
He squeezed her shoulder and stood up, then walked across the room to pick up a large box wrapped in red foil and white ribbon. He turned to present it to Phaedra and smiled at her brightly, but she was still staring at the snowbird.
"Phaedra!" he said sharply. "Look at me!"
She tore her eyes away to look at Brother Nicholas.
His face immediately softened, and he smiled again. "Phaedra, my beautiful little bird, I have a gift for you for your birthday." He walked back over and sat back down in his customary chair beside the table. "Open it," he commanded, handing it to her.
She opened the gift dutifully, being careful not to rip the foil, and pulled off the lid. Inside the box was a green velvet dress with white satin collar and ribbons. Lace tipped the sleeves and hem. It was easily the most beautiful dress Phaedra had ever seen--and also highly inappropriate for an orphan to wear. She looked up and stared at Brother Nicholas, speechless.
"Do you like it?" he asked tenderly, smiling that disarming smile of his. "I thought the color would match your eyes. Of course it's much too fine for a mere orphan, but I bought it for you to wear when you come . . . visit me."
Phaedra backed away from the dress as if it were an abyss demon, shaking her head emphatically. "I-I can't . . . I can't wear it! Please don't make me wear it!"
Brother Nicholas stood up quickly and with his open hand hit Phaedra across the cheek, sending her sprawling. She instinctively curled up into a ball and hid her face. He reached down and picked her up by the scruff of her robe and nightgown, bringing her face up to his own. "You WILL wear the dress, Phaedra! You WILL! Now PUT IT ON!" He shoved her away harshly, then angrily kicked the box in her direction.
Trembling, Phaedra took off her robe and slipped the nightgown over her head. Brother Nicholas watched her every move from his chair, his eyes taking in every detail. She started to put on the dress when that something in her belly trembled again, more insistent than before. She had a sudden feeling of something like vertigo, of losing control of something she didn't quite understand, and then just as suddenly it was gone. With amazement, she watched the skin on her belly ripple. Phaedra caught her breath and quickly pulled the dress over her head, hoping Brother Nicholas hadn't noticed. What was happening?
"Good. Very good," Brother Nicholas smiled again, his voice warm and soft. Apparently he hadn't seen it. "Come here and sit on my lap, Phaedra."
She hesitated, not wanting to, but hesitating would only make things worse. Already she could feel her cheek swelling. Phaedra shuffled over and reluctantly sat on his leg.
"I'm sorry I hit you, my little bird," he said, as he'd said many times before. "It's only because you're such a bad little girl that I have to discipline you for your own good. You understand that, don't you, Phaedra?"
"Yes, Brother Nicholas, sir."
"I love you very much, Phaedra. I love you more than even your own father did," he said then, as he'd said many times before. His hand strayed up her bare leg. "You know that I love you more than anyone else, don't you, Phaedra?"
The something trembled inside of her again at his touch, then exploded. Phaedra saw lights swimming before her eyes, and felt her insides change in a way uncontrolled by her. They shifted. Her skin grew hard and brown. The seams on the new dress split as she lifted her arms. Black talons greeted her where pink fingernails once were. Looking past her hands, Phaedra saw Brother Nicholas's face contorted in surprise and fear. She relished that one split-second in time, seeing such emotions on his bare face that he normally caused on hers, before he took control of himself. He started to shift himself, but it was too late. Razor-sharp talons cut across his neck and blood spurted. His arms came up to fend her off, but she pushed them aside with a strength that surprised her. Remove the head. She could hear Sister Enid even now, reciting in her droning voice about the vulnerabilities of shapeshifters to a half-asleep classroom right after the midday meal. To kill a shapeshifter, you must remove the head from the main trunk of the body, but even that itsn't always guaranteed to work. Pray now, little children, that if the Serpent blesses you with the ability to shapeshift, that you never need fight one such as yourself. We are all children of the Serpent, and need to learn to live with one another in peace. . .
Phaedra finished what she had started. In the end, Brother Nicholas's body, half-shifted, slumped in his favorite chair. The head lay on the floor some feet away where she had thrown it. The green dress was no longer pretty, but at least her little pink fingernails were back. Over it all continued the sweet music of Muzetti.
She numbly removed the party dress, wiped off her face and hands on the expensive white fur rug as best she could, and put on her own little nightgown and light blue robe. It would be cold outside in the dark night of bluesky, but she would find one of Brother Nicholas's wool habits and take it with her.
What did the Serpent want with her, a mere orphan? How would she survive outside the TIBC? Who would teach her to control herself? Phaedra had no answers, but one thing was clear: she had shifted, and it was already both a blessing and a curse.
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